As 27 year olds go, I am pretty mature. I am a homeowner, in a serious relationship and have pets for crying out loud. That’s not to say I don’t indulge in the occasional “childish” activity. I love pokemon go, for example, and love to scare the living daylights out of my boyfriend by jumping out from behind curtains or out of cupboards.
My boyfriend is 37. There is a nine and a half year age gap between us which to some may be a lot but we share many of the same values and interests so to us it’s a total non issue.
If you’d asked me a few years back, before I met my partner, if I’d be willing to date someone nearly ten years older, my reply initially probably would have been “Ew” likely to be followed by “That’s so old!” because I was a narrow minded little douchebag back then. When I dabbled in internet dating for example, my upper age limit was firmly at 30. Anyone older than that was automatically too old for me.
I’m not here to tell you what is or isn’t an appropriate age gap, that is totally up to you, but I am going to respond to some opinions shared with me (I didn’t ask for them…) about my relationship.
“Aren’t you scared he will die before you and you will be left alone for years? Men die younger, ya know…”
Ok, first, this is a morbid as hell thing to say. Yeah, I am scared he will die before me but that has nothing to do with his age. It’s purely to do with the fact I don’t want to imagine life without him. Secondly, just because I am younger doesn’t mean I can’t die first. I could get hit by a bus tomorrow so what’s your point?
“His health is going to fail and you will be the one who has to look after him.”
Oh, I’m sorry, I didn’t realise you had a crystal ball and could look into the future with absolute certainty. Again, who is to say I won’t have health problems first? Also, I love him, looking after him if he needs me to is part of the deal we have by being in a loving relationship.
“You’re at different stages of your life. What about kids? And marriage?”
Actually, no, we’re not. People have different goals, different plans. Some people may plan to get married and have kids at around 30, others around 40 and in that case a 10 year age gap perfectly aligns them. Also, who is to say we definitely want kids and marriage?! Mind your own damn business.
“Isn’t it embarrassing to be seen with such an older guy? Isn’t he embarrassed to be seen with a much younger girl?”
Ok… this is kind of offensive. If he was Hugh Hefner and I was a playboy bunny then this might be a relevant question but we’re not, so it’s not. The difference is 10 years, not 50 years. I don’t look really young. He doesn’t look really old. We look like any normal couple. Most importantly, we look in love so who cares?
Ultimately, there is no magic formula. You meet someone, you fall in love, that’s it. It’s pure and simple and society today makes it WAY more complicated than it should be. As long as the two parties involved are consenting adults then they have my blessing at least.
Also, don’t be an idiot and be all judgemental about other peoples relationships. If you have genuine concerns and care about someone, like I am sure the people who made these comments did and do, think carefully about how you voice them because they may come across as hurtful.
I’ll end by saying if the world was a little more accepting and supportive, it would be a much happier place 🙂 Keep spreading the love.