People live in different ways

I have barely begun as an Estate Agent but this past week I have already met some colourful characters and seen some interesting sites. I have also learned that sometimes I can be a judgemental b*tch… but can’t we all?

Now, I pride myself as being open minded as far as people go. Gay, straight, black, white, rich, poor, man, woman, whatever… I have time for you all so this little realisation took me off guard. My quick judgements were based purely on peoples homes.

I am no neat freak but I do keep a nice house. It’s not just tidy; it’s clean, hygenic and not detrimental to my own or any of my guests health. Some of the houses I have visited this week have not been in the same state.

Immediately I (internally) scolded the people living in these homes. What is WRONG with them? Is it SO HARD to not be gross? I shuffled around from room to room trying to hold my breath as much as I could and not touch anything.

While I still refuse to justify the states of those houses, on reflection I thought about why the residents chose to live that way. Was it even a choice at all?

Maybe they are battling mental or physical health issues and struggle just to get out of bed in the morning, let alone keep a clean house. Maybe they’re so busy caring for family or holding down two jobs that cleaning is the last thing they want to do in their spare time. Maybe they simply weren’t shown how a house should be kept. This is the standard of living they were raised in so they think it’s acceptable. These people are more than likely doing the best they can.

I am so, so lucky. I have my health, both mental and physical. I have the time to keep my house neat and enjoyable to be in. I had two great parental role models to teach me as I grew up how a house should be run.

I guess what I’m saying is I don’t know everyones story. I don’t know why they are like they are or what shaped them as a person. We all have different pasts, different experiences, different lessons we have learned. Variety is the spice of life. If we were all the same it’d be boring.

I am a firm believer that we aren’t where we’ve been, we are where we’re heading. So next time I feel like being a Judgey Judgerson, I will take a moment to remember that I am not perfect but I am fortunate. Rather than tell them off in my head, I will consider if I can help them improve their situation (in the least patronising way possible!) If there is one thing the world needs, it’s the spreading of more love, care and help and I’ll be damned if I contribute another second of my energy to any more negative thoughts.

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5 thoughts on “People live in different ways

  1. I know exactly what you mean. A friend of mine at school had a kid before school let out. When she was 16 she was rehoused by the council into this block of flats that were rundown and just generally awful. Living that way had a seriously detrimental affect on her and as well as seriously having to hold my nose and breath when I walked past the cat lady on the first floor’s door (the smell of ammonia was painful to the lungs), my friend’s flat was depressing. She had lost the will to live. I helped as best I could as her friend, but it really is hard not to judge, even knowing the situation.

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    1. It’s so tough isn’t it. I felt like human garbage when I was having such unproductive, negative thoughts. They weren’t helping anyone but I guess we only think that way because it’s all we know… and because we’d like everyone to be as fortunate as ourselves. I had a fairly sheltered childhood and a pleasant middle class upbringing. I wouldn’t know real struggle if it slapped me in the face! I hope your friend is doing better these days.

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      1. She’s doing much better, thank goodness. Her daughter’s just had a baby! I, luckily(?), grew up in a family that became 1-parent when my dad died of cancer when I was 11. It was a struggle but we got through it.

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      2. Aw, such lovely news 🙂 I’m sorry to hear about your loss at such a young age. The loss of a parent at any age is awful. My Dad died when I was 22 and it affected me alot even at that age. At 11, it must have been profound. You must be so strong you’re practically bulletproof!

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      3. Don’t know about that, but it makes it easier to cope with disappointment when it comes to job hunting etc (most of the time). We’re here for such a short time that these things can’t be allowed to be the centre of our lives! 🙂 and there’s a profound thing for a Tuesday afternoon.

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